Nothing's ever too hard

God's here with us. He sees, He understands and He guides ( in case we turn this into idolatry) so nothing's gonna be too hard.

Thankful

I KNOW YOU'LL BE READING THIS SO THIS IS FOR YOU.

You give and take away

Life has been too good to me. God has showered me with blessings after blessings, I'm overwhelmed, I'm grateful, and 'happy' is an understatement. From the academics, to relationships, to 101 other things, You have been good to me.

And that's why I'm afraid. I've seen my prayers being answered, one by one. I've been seeing the blessings come one after and another, but whenever i thank God, I'm also dying to ask, 'When are You gonna take this away?' I know trials will come, I know our faith will be put to test, I know He refines and moulds His children by putting them through the fire. I know, just as He freely gives, He can also freely take away. I feel like I'm bracing myself, everyday, for that moment where everything will start tumbling downhill. That 'Job moment' where everything will be taken away, and we will learnt to praise His name in spite of everything.

There are 3 things I hold closest to my heart: studies, friends and him. In no particular order. I really don't know what I'll do if any of the 3 are taken away? And I'm frightened, all the time. Especially now when everything is still new and exciting, where I know we're going through the honeymoon period where we can spend hours and hours on the phone, and he'll still willingly send me home all the time. When will novelty gives way to mundaneness, what happens? It just scares me immensely, that one day things won't be the same anymore. Have we been wearing rose-tinted glasses? Will we really get bored of this one day? What if it's not Your plan for this to happen?

I don't know, I don't know, and I feel so silly sometimes worrying and thinking so much, but it's running and running through my head, and it needs a place to settle, so here it'll belong. I'll trust God. Trust that just as He has brought us through the highs, He'll bring us through the lows as well.

Rubbish in a bin

I'm feeling so stressed out and i don't know whyy! Whyyyyyyy. Whyyyyyyyy.
Hahahah enough of nonsense. Maybe its cos of eh eh bhbh or maybe its the south asian mids next week, or its the gem or its everything. Oh maybeee, maybeeeee.
DON'T KNOW LA THIS SUCKS A LOT.

I'm aware of how blessed I am, but but but I can still feel blessed and be stressed?? No?? Maybeeee???

Hahahhah my most retarded, thoughtless post everrr(:

Top of the world

I will trust You.

Nip and tuck

How do I tell you that I'm afraid? That it's not you, it's me. You're good and you're awesome, and I'm not good enough and that's the problem. What if one day you realise what I've always known, what if one day everything disappears, what am I going to do? When the mask falls away and we're faced with the good, bad and ugly, can we take it? I need to know why, why me. Exactly what do you see? Tell me why and I'll tell you why not. I'm nothing like the person you think I am. I've tucked the ugliness neatly away, I've polished up a new shinning exterior, it's pretty because it's nothing like the real thing.

We both saw the crack, sorry I pretended everything is okay. And until I learn a better way to hide my insecurities, I'll keep glossing over all these with a smile.

I want to go completely crazyy

More

More than I would ever dare admit.
More than I deserve.
Less of me, more of You in this please. I know we can't manage this alone; sometimes I feel like just throwing it all aside because I'm so sick of fake sweets. I know this time it'll be different because I'll be obedient to You, at all costs. So I will stop praying ' Dear God, let me know your will for my life', but instead I'll just fix my eyes on you and everything will be fine.
You couldn't have known, but I'm telling you now: it's called insecurities. Push the wrong button and we'll be stabbing each other.

Next time!

I'm scared as hell, you know. How would I know, that something supposedly so awesome can frighten me so.

Not ready, next time, next time! Maybe I'm just not ready to grow up:(

Green monster

This huge green monster called Jealousy.

Look before you fall

I'll look before I fall, just to make sure. Like a gamble, we'll make sure we put all our chips on the best one. We cross our fingers and pray,' let this be the one.'

What if it's not? There's no way we can get our chips back, we already know that.

So, look before you fall.

Tell me if you are a jerk.

Tell me if you are a jerk.

Teeny weeny

Look around and see how tiny you really are.

10 Red Indians

1. It's funny how someone from so long ago can appear and still leave you gagging, your heart inside your mouth. I clicked on the x, made you go away, and clicked on somebody else to take your place. I'm hoping, I'm hoping.

2. I love the pop pop pop from facebook chat windows. Who cares that they're so tiny?

3. Pick the apple from the apple tree, pluck it, eat it. You don't have to wash it, it's really clean.

4. If I'm wondergirl, I've to find a spiderman for a boyfriend.

5. The decision to club or not is a personal one, something you must decide for yourself, something you must must must pray about and hear what God says. If you go with clean intentions, you'll be at peace. If not, wait, wait and wait. Until God says you're ready. After all, God has such a good track record I've gotta trust Him.

6. How do you know if God is nodding His head? Okay if you know right, please give me a tap on the shoulder and let me know. I need to know how.

7. Mulberry and Lychees, mmmm. You go bom bom bom.

8. The distracted life. Busy busy as a bumble bee, directionless as a headless chicken. You you you, you are running around like a headless chicken.

9. Hide in a hole now, let no one find you. Feed on your thoughts.

10. The smilely face ran away, hee hee you're stuck with your angry face.

Let's cha-cha,

University

I think university is v v v scary. Even with friends, even if you're in Arts fac. ROAR ROAR

Everything's gonna be okay now

Everything's gonna be okay now.

Crossiants go and die

Stupid crossiants go and die. You are so troublesome, why must you taste so good. WHYYYY

Rainbow heart

Tear off your mask, hold your heart in your hands. I' ll pour in a rainbow into your heart. The valves will be not able to keep it out. See, look, you're shinning (:

Revelation

I’m reading Revelations now and it’s v v frightening.

Rev 2: 4-5 ‘ yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lamp-stand from its place.’

Something even scarier: Rev 3:16 ‘So, because you are luke-warm- neither hot nor cold- I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, poor, blind and naked.’

THIS IS GOING TO BE HARD BUT I’VE MADE UP MY MIND AND I’M GONNA DO IT. It’s no coincidence that after I prayed about it during cell retreat, I flipped to the Old Testament and read about Israelites being led down the path of destruction. Then I was just reading again about ‘people defiling themselves.’ I was gonna say I wish God can speak to me to my face so it’s more obvious, then I remembered, especially after reading Revelations, how the earth shakes at the sound of His voice and how looking at the holy Lord can kill you. So thank God for speaking thorough the bible and His people instead.

You know, my life is actually v v v comfortable now. You can even say that I’ve never felt so comfortable and peaceful in my entire life. During primary school, my life is like one big empty hole. It was so dark and empty, I was so used to the darkness I thought it was a normalcy in life. In secondary school I tried filling the emptiness with friends, msn, blogging, music, sch activities, but it was still empty. And in ACSI it was just day after day of completing IAs TOKs EE goodnessssss. Okay my life story hahaha. ANYWAY, my point is, I love how I can now live day to day without burden, light and happy and with God. Though I now am quite sick of Jones and wish I can work with Ann and Mama Claire ALL THE TIME, (yesterday was the BEST day of work I ever had in Jones, and for no reason other than the awesome people around. Claire was like ‘Just be happy and work. Hoping for a peaceful night.’ And it turned out to be not only a peaceful night, but a sweeeeet night as well. A guy came to our shop to look for a birthday cake, then we were like oh sorry we don't have, so he went down to Taka to buy before coming back again. Then he arranged a surprise for her. Then he sat down for a long long time to wait for her. As he waited he got a little anxious and asked me what time we close. Haha finally when the girlfriend came, she’s quite pretty plus the bf was rather cute so both of them looked quite good together! We were all watching them then even Fareed was like Aw very sweet you know.), I still like the fact that it’s a brainless job, not as boring as Pat’s, and that there’s never left over work (but there’s always left over food!) to bring home(:

Well, but I guess these days will be ending soon. Say bye to idleness, and hello to new burdens. But I’m smiling as I see school life beckoning to me!!! Quite exciting, being around people my age again. And making REAL FRIENDS, HAVING REAL, NON-HOW-ARE-YOU CONVERSATIONS AGAIN. Though the initial oh what’s your name, what school were you from thing is bound to get quite tedious and annoying. Suck it up and everything will be good after that(:

On a VERY HAPPY NOTE:D:D:D, 1) Commonwealth Children’s Camp is coming and I’m praying God will be with us every step along the way, the planning and execution and all that 2) LAVANNIA NA IS COMING BACK! The most retarded person I’ve met my entire life is back and I’m looking forward to goooooood and crazy timessssss. 3)I’m going hongkong!!!! Budget+ sales plane tics and free accommodation omgggg. Dim sum, here I come!!!! 4) FOC for FASS and VCF (still thinking about that one)

I’m really v v blessed. These two weeks has been spent with the most amazing people everrr. Sometimes I wake up in the morning thinking to myself it’s all too good to be true. The people I have around me are too good to be MY friends. On my bday there was ann Cherie Vicky Claire Debbie Brenda yuhua syl(: (: (: then I had lunch/ dinner with chinwee gene the next 2 days. I also had Japanese food (THUMBS UP TO ANYTHING THAT IS JAPANESE AND EDIBLE) my mum some time after that. THEN shopping with sin and liz, followed by dinner with them both and syl and li(: (: GOOD FOOD AND GOOD COMPANY. Then shuan for FRIED XXXL CHICKEN AND FRIED MARS BARS, then yuhua today for zajiang mian. Then childrens camp committee for chomchom dinner/ supper/ feast. I swear I can’t locate my waist now.