like I'm stuffed full of sour grapes.
you are no good.
and no, you won't know what I'm talking about.

Red Cross is the second most awesome thing that has ever happened to me. It’s given me syl and li as two good friends. They were the first people that I’d ever gotten close to, the first people with whom I can sit for hours with, just talking about the most randomness and heartening of things. And, the first people I could totally trust. Like how you can be super weird and still know somehow, they’ll put up with you. Hahhahahah sorry guys, you’ve got no choice, you both are stuck with me, hopefully, for life! And now boys have entered into our lives and it’s getting amusing. Saturday tells it all, heh.

Then then, Red Cross has given me 0908 too. When I think of us, I think of washing machine. (You see, I don’t really like rojak. But the same idea is the applies.) You throw all the clothes inside, Papa’s polos, Mummy’s blouses, sister’s dresses and my oversized tees. The smelly, the not so smelly, the big the small, the pretty and the passé, and they all come out clean and good. I love our big hearts, and I love the way we put up with one another. Some of us could have been strange people slinking in one corner of the school, the kind of people who don’t get noticed too much. And I love love love the way we can still run into one another with big bear hugs and even bigger smiles even after not seeing each other for 123456789 months. I don’t even have to pretend that I’m excited to see you all again, that I like hanging out with you guys. Fact is, that I do. Sometimes, I’m still awed at how most of us can fit in so nicely into the 0908 puzzle. It’s like family. Everything feels so natural and when I’m with you guys, I feel loved.

Many many times, when good things happen, I think they’re too good to be true. Too good to belong to me.
‘It was a moment made of glass, this happiness; it was the easiest thing in the world to break.’
I need to stop things from breaking.

'When you're young everything feels like the end of the world.'

Mike O'Donnell 17Again

im walking in circles. round round round. like a hamster on the wheel. round round round.
everytime there's always this hope, maybe this time it'll be different. but alas, same same same.

i wish you'll reach out and pull me out.

Syl's message

and sylvia didnt include her reply in her blog post. that made me grinned like an idiot in the middle of mervy's lesson while shes talking about killing off this that sl class person haha.

me: what's wrong with me?
syl: Hahaha.. what's wrong with you? Everything! Insane blueweird random and loveable! Haha.. You make me look like an idiot smiling at my phone. Haha i miss you!

there, my proclamation of love for you in the public domain right on my blog!
not too much a a compliment but the loveable part is enough to negate all the others.
i feel loved!
thankyousylviakampeirong

Fall, baby.

what if i fall so far down that i can't pick myself up again?
what if i never stop stop falling.

no, how about a rocket? to shoot high up above the ozone layer and whatever there is, far away from all these and just. just, i dont know. spend the rest of my life floating around?

no, no.

i dont know what i want to be.

i should be glad, i should be dancing around, i should be grateful and rejoicing. i have the greatest Love of all.

but i dont feel that way.