HATE THE LIFE IM LEADING NOW. ITS LIKE SO TOTALLY MEANINGLESS AND IM JUS T LIKE LIVING ON FOR THE SAKE OF LIVING. THAT IM NOT LIVING FOR MYSELF BUT FOR OTHERS. I FEEL SO DUMB. I WANNA COMMIT TO THINGS THAT I LOVE AND FIND MEANINGFUL. PLACES THAT I WANNA GO AND LIVE IN I CANT THINGS THAT I WANNA DO STUFF THAT I WANNA LEARN IMPACTS THAT I WANNA MAKE I JUS CANT . WAIT UNTIL IM LIKE INDEPENDENT? THERE'S LIKE SOO MANY THINGS OUT THERE THAT I WANNA SEE I WANNA HEAR I WANNA EAT I WANNA VISIT TO EXPLORE. SO MANY PLACES I WANNA LIVE IN. SO MANY THINGS I WANNA DO . IT'S MY LIFE! WHY AM I MADE TO DO THINGS THAT I'VE NVR HAD INTEREST IN OR DO SOME STUFF THAT I FIND TOTALLY MEANINGLESS? LIKE STUDYING MATHS..WHEN WILL I ACTUALLY GET TO CALCULATE ANLGES FROM X TO Y. YES ITS KNOWLEDGE BUT WADS THE USE OF THIS KINDA KNOWLEDGE WHEN ITS JUST GONNA GET FORGOTTEN SOMEWHERE 10 YEARS DOWN THE ROAD? WHY WASTE TIME DOING ALL THESE WHEN I CAN ACTUALLY USE ALL THESE TIME TO MAKE AN IMPACT ON OTHERS AND BRIGHTEN UP THEIR LIVES? OKAE MAYBE I SHLD JUS STOP WHINNING. I THINK U SHOULD JUS STOP READING THIS POST..IT;LL ONLY SCREW UP URE MIND..LIKE WHAT IM DOING TO MINE. BUT I WANNA HAVE A DIFFERENT KIND OF LIFE..SOMETHING MORE EXCITING MORE ADVENTUROUS MORE MEANINGFUL. I WANNA LEAD THAT KIND OF LIIFE THAT I TRULY WANNA LEAD..SOMETHING THAT MAYBE 50 YEARS LATER WHEN IM DYING I CAN SAY THAT I HAVE DONE ENOUGH AND MY LIFE IS REALLI MEANINGFUL THEN I CA LEAVE WITHOUT REGRETS. I WANNA VENTURE DOWN A PATH THAT FEW HAD VENTURED ON BEFORE..A ROUTE THAT WILL BRING ME STRESS FEAR YET WARMTH EXCITEMENT FRIENDSHIPS HAPPINESS SOMETHING THAT I CAN TELL MYSELF..YES, THIS 'S IS WHAT IM BORN TO DO. I DONT WANNA BE RESTRICTED BE CAGED DOWN ..I WANNA BE SUPPORTED BE LOVED. WHY DO SOME PEOPLE CAN JUS LIKE NOT LOVE IT NOT PUT THEIR EFFORT IT IN YET THEY CAN EXCEL IN THEM?

OKAES..I SHALL STOP COMPLAINING. I SHALL STOP THINKING OF COMPLAINING AND WHINNING WHEN SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE IN THE OTHER PARTS OF THE WORLD WILL DIE TO LEAD SUCH A LIFE LIKE MINE. WHEN SOME OTHER PEOPLE ARE BEGGING ON THE STREETS AND THEY HAVE NO FOOD NO DRINKS NO SHELTER NO LOVED ONES. OH WELLS..AT THE VERY LEAST I HAVE ALL OF THE STUFF ABOVE RITES? MAYBE IM NOT DOING THAT BADLY.

WHEN A PERSON IS MADE TO DO SOMETHING SHE DOESNT LIKE TO DO, HER DETERMINATION, PERSERVERENCE, BONDS WITH OTHERS AND BLAHBLAH ARE PUT TO TEST. MAYBE ITS REALLI NOT THAT BAD. FROM TODAE ONWARDS I SHALL STOP COMPLAINING OF WHY THINGS HAPPEN IN MY LIFE AND BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT I HAVE AND WHAT I'VE RECIEVED FROM OTHERS. KNOW THAT THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO ARE IN A MUCHMUCH WORSE STATEE THAN U BUT YET THEY ARE LIVING ON WITH PRIDE. EMBARK ON EACH NEW DAY WITH HOPE INSTEAD OF FEAR. I SHALL REMEMBER THAT WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN MY LIFE IS NOBODY'S DOINGS EXCEPT MINE..I MAKE WHAT HAPPEN IN MY LIFE..NOT OTHERS. I SHALL BE PROACTIVE AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY IN MY LIFE..ONLY I CAN CHOOSE WHAT I WANNA DO. I SHALL STOP TRYING TO LIVE UP TO PPLE'S EXPECTATIONS AND DOING WHAT I SHOULD DO..INSTEAD I WILL DO WHAT I THINK I WANT I FEEL IS THE WRITE THING AND WHAT I WANT TO DO. I WILL BE A FIRST RATE VERSION OF MYSELF, INSTEAD OF A SECOND RATE VERSION OF EVERYONE ELSE..I WANT BE ME, JUST PLAIN ME. I WILL NEVER CHICKENED OUT COS OF FEAR BUT VENTURE IT ALL THE WAY WITH CONFIDENCE. I SHALL START OUT EACH DAY WITH A RENEWED CONFIDENCE. I SHALL LIVE EACH DAY TO THE FULLEST THAT I CAN.

YES, THAT 'S A PROMISE TO MYSELF. I CAN DO THAT. YES, I CAN.