For you

“Look at the sky: that is for you. Look at each person’s face as you pass on the street: those faces are for you. And the street itself, and the ground under the street, and the ball of fire underneath the ground: all these things are for you. There are as much for you as they are for other people. Remember this when you wake up in the morning and think you have nothing.”

BY MIRANDI JULY

Happily ever after

Came across this from pleasefindthis.blogspot.com:

Some people say that love doesn't last forever.

But I've met other people. And while over the decades their bodies have forgotten the ideas of who they were, their heads remember their hearts.

Maybe they didn't love forever, just a lifetime.

But they still make liars of those people. You and I can make liars of them too.

I'm dying to find out how it must feel like to live out the happily ever after story. 'Happily ever after' not in the sense that everything just becomes a bed of roses after marriage, but more like how you stay in love with each other for half a lifetime, being each other's greatest gift from God.

In my head, it's a very beautiful notion. You return home everyday to the arms of someone you've been dying to see the entire day. You build your life together, you bring up your children together, and you grow old together. You're surrounded by so much love, it makes you giddy just thinking about it. It must be lovely, you think you're the happiest person around.

But I'm not really sure if love does last forever. I really don't see how things will work out once the passion dies. How do you stay in love forever, how do you face a person everyday for 10 years and not get sick of this person whom you used to love so much. 'Happily ever after' is more like a concept than a possibility to me, you know.

Potter's hands

I think we become truly happy when we stop living for ourselves, but for something bigger than us. When you'll do everything willingly for something, when every single moment of your life counts and works towards that. For me that 'something bigger' should be Jesus, but it's not actually happening. I'm still going about day to day living for myself, my actions answerable to me and me only. God's this side activity that only pops into my mind at about 11plus every night, this being that I worship only on Saturday afternoons. For someone who has died for me, whom I confess to love with my life, whom I sang 'I'll go to the ends of the earth for You' to, that's being awfully hypocritical and ungrateful on my part. It's as if I only believe in You in my head, and You have no place in my heart. Something struck me this afternoon during worship, that by not surrending my life into His hands, I'm missing out on His purposes for my life. I'm like those rats you see in a maze, seemingly moving from one cheese to the next yet in reality they're only moving in circles, never really going anywhere. That without centring my life on Him, I'm not actually doing anything. All the studies, work, friendships, they're like nothing, you know? And I really feel that way. It's like nothing I do really makes me happy anymore.I feel as if I'm going around leading my life in this bubble, that I'm not actually living, but like a spectator watching things unfold around me from the inside of my bubble. I lovelovelove my friends, but meeting up with them doesn't exactly bring joy to my heart, it's like a routine I go through or like something I feel I ought to do lest I lose them forever. I'm really afriad I'll be like this, floating from day to day till I wake up on the last day of my life and realise that despite doing so much, I'm really not doing anything at all. It's such a scary thought. JESUS I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE FOR YOU HELP ME PLEASE. I don't wanna contiune floating around, living apart from you and Your purposes, missing out on Your plans.

This's a strange period of time for me, taking up a job and looking at my options for future career choices. Oh, there's so much I can talk about, chnaging the diapers for the little monsters in work, what I envision myself doing in the future, and eh my IB results. But I don't really wanna say about these so I guess I'll just end here.

Barney is a dinosaur

' You can be anything in the future,' says Barney,' but whatever you decide
to be, you will always be special to me.'

I'm a superstar

Miss you and hope you're doing fine, sorry I just didn't/ don't have any energy or mood to tell you that.

Sergeant Teo

My dad's damn joke he's walking around the house in his army uniform from 20years ago and he just called himself Sergeant Teo.

FRIDAY

It's so so so so bad.
Please can i don't do this anymore? Please please please.
How can anything hurt so bad how can anything ever be this bad ENTIRE FREAKING SECTION B TWO WHOLE MATH PAPER I WONT BE ABLE TO PASS ITS NOT SOME STUPID PRELIMS ITS THE REAL IB HOW CAN ANYONE FIND IT EASY HOW COME I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING PART TWO ECONS OUT OF POINT I DON'T WANT TO DO THOSE PAPERS ANYMORE PLEASE THISS IS WORSE THAN ANY OF THE NIGHTMARES I HAD ABOUT IB