I like my mind

I like my mind; it’s such a bizarre and elegant place to spend my time in. It’s not exactly too happy a place but it’s okay, there’s so much beauty in it it’s extremely distracting.

I think of prince charming in a galloping white horse and clinking, shiny armour climbing up Eiffel to pick off a star from the night sky for me, just like how naughty boys pick apples off the apple tree in the neighbour’s garden.

I like sitting in a corner, breathing in the silence. Sometimes I’ll use the time to organise, file up, index my time. Sometimes I like to make sense of myself. Sometimes I’ll just wander along the path of pretty imagination, where I can be exactly where I want to be.

Like a bird trapped in a cage of cement/

And you know, it’s perfectly possible to get put off by someone yet still like that person a lot a lot a lot. It happens, and you know ours is a human mind that’s amusingly ironic and chaotic. Sometimes you can change that ‘amusing’ to ‘fustrating’.

I’ll like to flow down a river, sit on a window still without anyone getting all worked up thinking that I’m trying to end my life.

Sometimes I wonder how many things I’m keeping from myself. For a girl who had grown up thinking that random thoughts/ emotions should be restricted rather than celebrated, I’m not doing too badly. I’ve learnt how to take pride in my randomness. And before long, when you start verbalising your feelings/ thoughts you realise you’re not so different from those around you after all. And that’s from a girl whom in primary school, had always felt awkward and out of place. Too tall, not rich enough, doesn’t talk quickly enough, house not pretty enough. We’ve come a long way, haven’t we? But at times when things happen it feels like I’m being brought back to that same, what should we call it, period of growth? I’ll feel small and insignificant. Fear will crept into my heart, what if I’ve ‘de-grown’ and won’t grow back anymore?

Have I told you, anything that brings you high will also bring you low. It’d happened twice and I’m still falling. Too high, too high. Keep from going so high the next time.
We are ungrateful people, we take our treasures for granted.