why isnt anything the way i hoped for them to be? im sick and tired of all the lousy results..of all the diappointments and all the slackness i've given myself credit for. and that guilty super lousy feeling. no i wont carry on this way..i cant i wont and i reallyreally cant. everytime when its like tchrs say giving out wadeva paper its like hopin and hoping some miracle will happen and i ll jus somehow do well? yarh how dumb..like how many times can miracles happen? and even when i do study..its still like lousy. veryvery lousy. the every tues two test thing is a badbad lousy idea..but why can everyone cope but me? why's everything so low...almost the bottom of the class? everytime get back paper and start asking around find that less then five ppl get lower then me? damn scary. what can i do? and can i do it?

from tomorrow onwards, i will stop going online and stop all the blogging stuff. cut everything down. no msn no blogging no blogsurfing and all those funnyfunny stuff that i entertain myself with. all the way until 15th may. and by the end of all these everything will become better. seeya then. 4 whole weeks. can i do it?