nice ending to it all =). who says its impossible to turn things around?

haha oh no im not supposed to be here..but erm im in sch now and there's the temptations there..hahah read so many ppl's blogg bout the fri incident okae and like reallyreally sad cos everything jus erm turned so different and ugly. aiyahh like i really hope that wad she say will happen wont happen..like its really does its gonna hurt all of us and everythings gonna be different without you..disappoint everybody too..esp yupp us syl sinsin. think carefully before making any decisions..dont run away, overcome it! or it'll jus be left hanging there forever and be so awkward. so consider again and again! dont make us cry again yar? jus cross over this and everything will be alrite again. talk to you so long alreadi still like got no effect..but yar..seriously..im sure we all understand how you feel now but overcome it okae! and make decisions base on wad you seriously want..dont cause you dont wanna face it.

seriously nvr thought things wld even be this way..can we jus put aside fri's incident and pretend its nvr happened? then everyone can laugh again! i hate things to be this way..its really horrible. im sure like a lot of us are still affected by it..okaeokae? like forget all about it! then we can all continue to be the way we all used to be..laughing together..all the really happy and funny and good times..dont letn it be overshadowed by alll these.

why isnt anything the way i hoped for them to be? im sick and tired of all the lousy results..of all the diappointments and all the slackness i've given myself credit for. and that guilty super lousy feeling. no i wont carry on this way..i cant i wont and i reallyreally cant. everytime when its like tchrs say giving out wadeva paper its like hopin and hoping some miracle will happen and i ll jus somehow do well? yarh how dumb..like how many times can miracles happen? and even when i do study..its still like lousy. veryvery lousy. the every tues two test thing is a badbad lousy idea..but why can everyone cope but me? why's everything so low...almost the bottom of the class? everytime get back paper and start asking around find that less then five ppl get lower then me? damn scary. what can i do? and can i do it?

from tomorrow onwards, i will stop going online and stop all the blogging stuff. cut everything down. no msn no blogging no blogsurfing and all those funnyfunny stuff that i entertain myself with. all the way until 15th may. and by the end of all these everything will become better. seeya then. 4 whole weeks. can i do it?

liqin: hahah so corny..check up check down check check..check up check down check turn check bang hahah ohman i memorised it!!! ohoh and wads the timing for the cheese thing?

fellowlido: haha welcome back! so long dint see you here already. =)

charl: hellos! eh which charlene are you? : )

laughing

haha i got this from somewhere..its really 'got substance' one so i'll jus put it here.

'Did you ever bump your head - or break a wrist - while you were clowning around with friends? What did you notice?While you are LAUGHING, it is hard to feel PAIN!All kinds of wonderful things happen when you laugh …

1)Your lung capacity expands, improving respiration and oxygen consumption
2)Your immune system is activated - so you can better fight infection. Your body releases more of the protective T cells that fight virus and cancer cells
3)Endorphins - your body's natural painkillers - are released into your brain, decreasing stress.

Laughter not only reduces physical pain. It reduces mental pain!When we laugh, we naturally feel more hopeful and optimistic.When we laugh, we say to ourselves - and to the world - "I REFUSE TO SUFFER!"Laughter helps us survive grief and disappointment.There's a funny side to almost every situation. We just have to look for it.What else helps? When we stop trying to be perfect! Then we can laugh at ourselves - so we laugh a lot more often.

IN A NUTSHELL
Life is not that serious. We should take humour more seriously!'

-andrew mathews

hahah hopefully after this ppl can stop asking why i always laugh for nthg ..haha im jus trying to improve my immune system thingy..its a good thing k next time when got SARs again you'll find that everyone kana except me! =)

have you ever felt that you have everything you've wanted but that emptiness still seems to linger there? you dun noe wads wrong but smthg jus doesnt seemt o be in place? it feels weird and really depressing..like erm reallyreally weird feeling. confusing. like why isnt things as nice as they can be. and like why even when you really put in all your efforts but it still seems out of reach. why even when you reach where you wanna go that heavy feeling still wont go away? why always seems to be nothing noone nowhere when we seems to need them most? why putting in efforts is so tirng and so discouragin when reward are not there? why isnt there a place to go when you get so tired of life ans jus need a little really clean break off to be able to bounce basck again? gahh whys life so complicated and cheem and so mahfan.

anyways got back lots of results stuff this week. like i dunno how many but rmbred most of them were diappointments. oh and got back promos stuff too. plus that footdrill result days ago. promos were okae larh probably cos most of us dint do well then its easier to not feel so out can tong gan gong ku hahahha. hahah ohman footdrill arh very funny leh haha its not supposed to be funny but ohwells i was ultra jigh that day so it seems super funny. hahah have you seen ppl test can pass re-test must fail one? and fail nemind larh must fail like so funny mark somemore hahahahhah. ate so much chocs todae cos they gave so much chocs!!!! like whoaa huimin mm and sweegeok mm gave us loads of chocs then fd lesson we were like passing them all around sharing everyone ate so much! haha fun. eat until this bigbig pile of wrappers appear on the table. rck haha wad did we do? oh yarh we were eating also! ithink. then they did footdrill. then we talked so much. then the cheese thing..their lame invention hahahaah.

oh yayyy got my msn back! dunno how i did it also but i went to upgrade the whole thing to msn 7.0 then the whole thing pooooff came on!! hahah ultra super happy. =)

realised 'bout his whole week is the earliest i ve ever come home..whoaa on mon.was like hahaha so early! 0930 home already..then tues went home almost immediately then todae also almost immediately..heh im getting more guai hahahha. at home looks so different im the afternoon compared to school lehh. hahah. hahaha ohoh had pe todae and played volleyball again! hahah damn funny got one time we laugh until all 8 of us were lying on the floor laughing hahah cos nora did some weird stunt thing. our grp's the laughing one then got a scream,ing one then got one clapping one and got one the sport pple all there super pro grp. hahaha but its nice to play! though most of the time we dont even noe wads happening. pe's funn!! : )

hong said hes giving back papers tmr gahhh why must mark so fast. sheesh. okae hmm but nobody failed pheww but theres the borderline kind he also dint mention..ohwells blah

bahh now my msn not working..haha dunno wads wrong but there mus be smthg wrong must be must be cos my sis's one also cannot work then rahh so mah fun! now i feel so out..like so eh weird! the thing say my password not valid or smthg like that then my sis's one also hahahahah boo but how can two pple have invalid passowrd at the same time..must be the com. larh cos we use the same tootified com. but rahh you noe my fren said rite i said hi to her on msn last week but i dint!!! surely someone hack in one but vahhh who so boliao rites. hahahah

oh im alive and jumping and well now!! hahahah thankyou for the msg and stuff yarh? i can even run for the bus this morning! but the toot bus see i run so slow dun wait for me..evill. but still..hahaha. slept like a pigg on mon. morning after comming home from sch and drank 6cups of honey plus 3 spoonful!!!! hahaha then got super sick of sweet stuff had to balance with salty stuff. dunno wad i ate then i went back to yourgurts. the strawberry veryvery squshy!!

rck and footdrill promos tmr..hahaah im not supposed to be here blogging..ohwells hahahaha

thankyou..thankyou foreverything. for the angels you sent down to me whenever i seem to need them most. for pulling me up when im drowning. for all the care and concern you've showered me with. for all the frens you've blessed me with. for guiding me when i cant find my way.
i dunno who you are hahaha but thankyou still! =)

talked with yunhui jus now and yups it was really inspiring..felt so clear after talking to her and it was super good. told me so much stuff and gave so many really good and veryvery helpful advice..made me see myself so much clearer and now i think i sort of noe better what i'll do. thankyou for ending my day with such a wonder ful note..thankyou for bringing my moods up again cos todae was reallyreally lousy day..a big big rollar-coaster ride. freaky day so manymany things happened and got so freaked out.

promos was bad. everything was bad esp the first aid stuff..the bandage crisis and aiyah all the stuff study also cannot rmbr dint study then dunno. bahh. prac was so off dunno wad im doing feel so dumb rahh. and then the guilt there. do i even deserve it? the whole thing was so unfair..esp to them like yarh so unfair that it makes me feel gahh rahrah. then things happened one by one after that it like this extra burden there. and that thing got me pissed off.yes its amusement then it became concern then it turned into disgust. an endless cycle of concern and disgust concern and digust concern. feel so evil. so fake.

aiyah cant everything jus start all over again? then i will noe wad to do and maybe todae would be a totally diff. feeling?

hahahahahaah. lets all laugh together. hahahaha because somone said that laughing is good for health. but cannot laugh no niose cos will get cancer. hahahah. and it'll chase alway all the gloomness and everyone can be hppy again!

raining now..hmm rain's nicee. so nice and cool bahhh but that toot rain mus rain when we were jus aboutt o go home..then syl and i cldnt go home..had to stay in sch for like sososo long until the rain stop. have you ever realised that splashing in puddles is fun? it's s like splasssh then you see this fountain and then become wet wet already. suddenly feel like running out in the rain also cos it jus started raining again! then can s[plash splash everywhere. haha not to get sick but jus for the fun of it!

got back the science paper todae. damn lousy. lousylousylousy. seriously thought i would d o better cos i really studied for it and i cld like memorise almost the whole chapt. yupyup but suppose theres always 2 ways to react rites..like wad mrs chua said..can either give up and hate the subj or study harder and prove that i can do it. i wont give up. i wont give up. i wont i wont. i ll do better the next time round..sigh can i? some how it seems so impossible. like this paper's supposed to be super easy and im like doing doing that well for it? and hong said that the next one in like 2 weeks time will be much much harder the physics light and colour chapt. then he said that if i dont do well like border line kind will go into single sci class. nonono cannot!!! okae heres a promise to myself..for the next sci test i ll get a A1 grade and if i dont i'll delete my blog and msn and dont touch the com. except for seroius sch work for 1.5 months. i mean it..i mean it so i'll study really really hard.
study
study
study
science
science
science

its not really that hard is it? it'll be really okae and i can do it.

im sorry

bahh. im sorry. feeling the guilt now. hmx.
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry