A spoonful of sugar!

A spoonful of sugar!

I'm a very sad girl

I'm a very sad girl, cooping myself at home for 2 whole days attempting to study has that effect on you. I say attempting because more often that not I get so bored and restless and my brain wonders off to more exciting places that my body refuses to take it to, so basically I just stone and admire the pages of my books. Then that makes me even sadder 'cause attempts fail= I fail.

I'm freaking scared, its like 13 days left. My english is badbadbad, my chem i lose marks because of carelessness so often, and my math is just like shitshit howhow.

I want muffins heee.

Creatures of habit

Creature of habits, I could fall over at the same spot 1, 2, 3, 4 , or 10 million times and still not learn my lesson.
Maybe if I try hard enough, I would be able to breathe in all the colours, so that they stay inside me.

If I had learnt anything, it was that self-pity is addictive and that if I'm completely honest with myself, sometimes I just don't wanna get happier. Perphaps I just am happier being unhappy. So strange, so pathetic.

Travel

I want a time traveller for a husband.

That way I can wait, knowing full well there's someone who's perfect and that without a doubt, he'll come around in due time. Then when I do see him I'll know that he's the one, no guessing game, no what-ifs, just fireworks and unicorns and a racing heart.

Look, the Earth is spinning

1. Damn it, I just stoned at home for two days straight because my awesome friends have awesome schools that have decided to give them mocks just after their prelims. There's the Alevels people stressing out and everything and I'm just dragging myself around the house and practically doing nothing for two days. I'm supposed to look through Options A of chem but obviously I can't expect too much from myself. And I'm upset with everything and I've no idea why, I can't even figure out what I'm upset about! Must be the hormones. FSH and LH and progesterone and estrogen. Or maybe it's my mind or ahh i have no idea. Eeks i hate it when I'm having holidays and no one else is. And I hate having no cash, all the pretty tops on missypixy and agirlslabel and modparade and runawaybandits and all. And I hate sounding so bitter, so angry with the entire world and I hate the fact that I'm blogging about my angst here as if it's something I should be proud of. No no no. I want to suck out all my hormones or take away the pituitary gland, then I'll have no more mood swings. Monday and Tuesday were all happy and apples and rainbows and strawberry fields. Monday was like ah-paper-3-sucks-but-whatever then had sushi buffet with Ann, watched Time Traveller's Wife with Jacq and Priscilla. We were sniffing and crying and practically in a mess after the show. I love Ann-Munching idiotic moments. ANN IF YOURE READING THIS YOU'D BETTER BE NICE TO BE OR I'LL EMCEE AT YOUR WEDDING OKAY. It's so nice talking about our future selves and stuff. 18 is an awesome age to be in. I then met up with Liqin after her work and seeing her made me :D:D:D even more. Nice conversation, and LIQIN YOU LOOKED PRETTY YAY, NICE BLUSH. Tuesday went with elizabeth to town. She's damn retarded ( she was in Isetan for barely 15minutes when she messaged me going like I found nice clothes already can you quickly come I feel like an iidiot) and a true blue shopaaholic. Hee and of course we talked about boys, and she being in such an awesome relationship enlightened me about some things. Ah I'm still kinda like mmm surely there's exception to that right? But i guess if I'm completely honest with myself what she says is undoubtly true, the very sad pathetic kind of truth. Then Chiam decided for reatrded reasons to pop up (literally) with minimal warning. We went to get a quite nice pair of sandals for him at NUM and i ended off my happy day by going back to Cotton On. On Wednesday I woke up happy and all smiling and everything seemed like sunshine and unicorns and rainbows until I saw Patthong's email. Even knowing that she meant well and stuff I couldnt help feeling upset and ended up sleeping the entire self-pity (and day) away. Then today i stayed at home and wanted to do a million and one things but ended up doing nothing. Damn damn damn.

2. Hello friends, when you see me don't ask me about what I write in here and stuff please? It's kinda embarrassing and more often than not I don't know how to answer. what am i supposed to say, like yeah sorry i was feeling kinda suicidal that day so I rambled on a little too much?

3. I've always wished that I could have cool telepathy with some nice person, and at random upsetting self-pitying moments like this the person would just call and go like Hee I knew you were waiting for me to call. That would be nice but whatever, there's always sweet messages of encouragements coming in at exactly the correct time, but not calls. I prefer messages rather than online convos! I prefer calls to messages, and I would prefer to meet you and see you and chat over a cup of coffee or walk down the streets of Orchard or cry over a movie with you, above everything else.

4. Handle with care.