An Ocean and a Rock II

What you at my gentle spoken friend
I lack a frame to put you in
When you're an ocean and a rock away

I feel you in the pocket of my overcoat
My fingers wrap around your words
And take the shape of games we play

I feed your words through my buttonholes
I bring them to my fingerless gloves
Green and prone to fraying

Thoughts of you warm my bones
I'm on the way, I'm on the phone
Let's get lost, me and you
An ocean and a rock is nothing to me

I am far away from where you lay
Awake the day while you fall to sleep
An ocean and a rock away

I keep you in the pockets of my dresses
And the bristles of my brushes
Spin you into my curls today

I spoon you into my coffee cup
Spin you through a delicate wash
I wear you all day
I wear you all day

This song reminds me of you, every time.

An Ocean and a Rock

Inside myself I seem to be searching for something but I don't know what that thing is. Nothing falls into place, you know what I mean?

Sylviakampeirong

Sylviakampeirong hope you're reading this in US and know that you're missed. Even though we don't really meet up as often as we'd like to when you're in singpore, but knowing you're so far away makes me sad.
Take care and please take shorter holidays next time!

Little Superhero Girl

I miss school, so strange and pathetic, after all the ponning that I did last year. I miss even the IAs and the EEs and the boring lessons. But I guess what I really miss is having all your friends around you all the time, the company and awesome friendships and all. Like even though there's class party tmr ( I'm so tired I've NO IDEA how I'll be able to make it there) the girls can meet up and I'll prob see ann and the rest around, it's just different when you don't see them all the time like you do in school. It seems like I've forgotten how hard it used to be, all the struggles with the stupid pracs, annoying essays aft essays and 101 other things that ppl took 1 night to complete but me being the genius that I was, took 10000 hours.

I've been feeling v v strange ever since I started work, but this feeling is so new and queer I don't exactly know what is it that I'm feeling. It's part disillusionment, part hopelessness, part disappointment and part a hundred other emotions that I can't put a finger on. I know I have much to be grateful for, I should give thanks for the kids' smiles, give thanks for the love and favour, give thanks for my salary, and give thanks for friends who understand who put up with me when I snap at them after a horrible day at work. But I just don't feel grateful, you know? I feel trapped and it's as if I'm living out a jail term at work? Each and every single day just feels plain horrible, I keep counting down the number of days left till tgif, number of months I've to work for and all that. And right now, nothing, nothing at all truly gives me joy, and I get excited about almost nothing at all as wellll. It's as if work has sucked out all the life in me, something even IAs and EE didn't quite manage to do. Half way throughout conversations I'll subconsciously zone out and I'll lose interest in whatever anyone has to say, and my msn convos hardly gets past the hello how you doings. I keep thinking of rollling green hills, majestic mountains and endless australian blue skies, I hate where I'm stuck at now. I guess I might just be disappointed with myself that after all the happy thoughts during IB about really getting away and chilling out and having fun and doing what I really want to do doesn't quite match with my reality now. And maybe I'm unhappy with how much time work's taking up and how I'm not learning really as much as I had hope ( I feel nothing more than a nanny really, a fancier term teacher assistant. My job scope includes doing registration under the sun in the morning, sitting alongside the kids during lessons, make sure the playgrp kids don't cry, feed them, change diapers and clean up their shit), like how I'm not being challenged and benefiting from the job. Or maybe I'm just being silly and ungrateful. Maybe it's my mindset that needs changing, not the circumstances. I guess I'm probably learning things unconsciously, that perhaps I'm not learning things in my head but in my heart rather. I'd prayed for patience for love, and that really, God is preparing these fruit of the spirit in my heart. Maybe I'm just being refined and moulded (thanks syl this's in your words) without knowing it myself. Maybe all I need is really patience and faith to wait on Him and the kids.

It doesn't mean its never going to happen

From philosophy quote in visualizeus.com

I sure as hell hope its true(:

For you

“Look at the sky: that is for you. Look at each person’s face as you pass on the street: those faces are for you. And the street itself, and the ground under the street, and the ball of fire underneath the ground: all these things are for you. There are as much for you as they are for other people. Remember this when you wake up in the morning and think you have nothing.”

BY MIRANDI JULY

Happily ever after

Came across this from pleasefindthis.blogspot.com:

Some people say that love doesn't last forever.

But I've met other people. And while over the decades their bodies have forgotten the ideas of who they were, their heads remember their hearts.

Maybe they didn't love forever, just a lifetime.

But they still make liars of those people. You and I can make liars of them too.

I'm dying to find out how it must feel like to live out the happily ever after story. 'Happily ever after' not in the sense that everything just becomes a bed of roses after marriage, but more like how you stay in love with each other for half a lifetime, being each other's greatest gift from God.

In my head, it's a very beautiful notion. You return home everyday to the arms of someone you've been dying to see the entire day. You build your life together, you bring up your children together, and you grow old together. You're surrounded by so much love, it makes you giddy just thinking about it. It must be lovely, you think you're the happiest person around.

But I'm not really sure if love does last forever. I really don't see how things will work out once the passion dies. How do you stay in love forever, how do you face a person everyday for 10 years and not get sick of this person whom you used to love so much. 'Happily ever after' is more like a concept than a possibility to me, you know.

Potter's hands

I think we become truly happy when we stop living for ourselves, but for something bigger than us. When you'll do everything willingly for something, when every single moment of your life counts and works towards that. For me that 'something bigger' should be Jesus, but it's not actually happening. I'm still going about day to day living for myself, my actions answerable to me and me only. God's this side activity that only pops into my mind at about 11plus every night, this being that I worship only on Saturday afternoons. For someone who has died for me, whom I confess to love with my life, whom I sang 'I'll go to the ends of the earth for You' to, that's being awfully hypocritical and ungrateful on my part. It's as if I only believe in You in my head, and You have no place in my heart. Something struck me this afternoon during worship, that by not surrending my life into His hands, I'm missing out on His purposes for my life. I'm like those rats you see in a maze, seemingly moving from one cheese to the next yet in reality they're only moving in circles, never really going anywhere. That without centring my life on Him, I'm not actually doing anything. All the studies, work, friendships, they're like nothing, you know? And I really feel that way. It's like nothing I do really makes me happy anymore.I feel as if I'm going around leading my life in this bubble, that I'm not actually living, but like a spectator watching things unfold around me from the inside of my bubble. I lovelovelove my friends, but meeting up with them doesn't exactly bring joy to my heart, it's like a routine I go through or like something I feel I ought to do lest I lose them forever. I'm really afriad I'll be like this, floating from day to day till I wake up on the last day of my life and realise that despite doing so much, I'm really not doing anything at all. It's such a scary thought. JESUS I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE FOR YOU HELP ME PLEASE. I don't wanna contiune floating around, living apart from you and Your purposes, missing out on Your plans.

This's a strange period of time for me, taking up a job and looking at my options for future career choices. Oh, there's so much I can talk about, chnaging the diapers for the little monsters in work, what I envision myself doing in the future, and eh my IB results. But I don't really wanna say about these so I guess I'll just end here.

Barney is a dinosaur

' You can be anything in the future,' says Barney,' but whatever you decide
to be, you will always be special to me.'

I'm a superstar

Miss you and hope you're doing fine, sorry I just didn't/ don't have any energy or mood to tell you that.